December is upon us and many are already counting down the days until Christmas. This season is a time of love for me, of warmth, of family (biologic or otherwise), of joy, and of gratitude. It's nice to indulge in the festivities of the season, but something is pulling me in the direction of using this time to establish better habits that will carry me through the holidays and beyond into the next year.
The new moon earlier this week brought up a lot of stuff for me. I have been feeling increasingly out-of-sorts, sideways, cattywampus--as they say--the past few weeks. I suspect this is the result of a constellation of things: stress, inconsistent sleep, less consumption of water, more consumption of sugar, the change to colder weather, less daylight, the impending conclusion of the academic semester, etc. etc. etc. All in all, it's fascinating to me how these things work together to negatively impact my mood and general outlook on myself and my surroundings.
In an effort to find my way back to myself, I've decided to do a few things. First, I am removing added sugar and artificial sweeteners from my diet (a la Whole30) again. I hesitate to say that I am doing an "official" Whole30 during the month of December because that would be rather ambitious. I am not eliminating the possibility, however. To the extent that is within my control, I will be living the Whole30 lifestyle for as much of December as possible. I actually started two days ago (oops!), so technically this is Day 3 and I can already say, the worst of the sugar withdrawal is pretty much over. This is one of the benefits of living a food freedom that is relatively close to the Whole30 to begin with (meaning, I basically eat grain-free, dairy-free, legume-free, and alcohol-free already). My goals for this are to find that sweet spot of feeling good in my own skin, not having an emotional or psychological response to eating (or not eating) certain foods, and to get better sleep. I already have plans in the works on how to deal with the onslaught of holiday indulgences that will inevitably come my way--the main one being that I look forward to offering to do the majority of cooking for my family so that I can control the ingredients that go in and share so many of the delicious, Whole30-approved recipes that I've come to love over the past year and a half. I'll still bake ALL the cookies and pies for them, but I have no qualms about not partaking in them when the time comes.
Secondly, I will be conducting a different kind of elimination diet. Not of food, but of thoughts. My intention is to go the entire month of December without complaining, and instead, finding the positive in the moment. There are so many lovely, pleasant things about the holidays like the lights, and the music and fireplaces, and the movies, and the snow! But there is also travel (and traffic), shopping (and financial insufficiencies), family (and family, if you know what I mean). In addition to all that, there are all the exams I have coming up, the uncertainties about what's next and the pressure to have all of it already planned.
This is going to be a challenge. It already is. Today I noticed myself getting caught up in the negativity that surrounds me so easily. In order to mitigate that, I have to slow down, notice what's going on, and make a very conscious choice about what I want to contribute to the conversation. I'm predicting that the old adage "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" is going to be incredibly applicable this month. Eventually I hope to be able to progress from simply NOT saying something negative to actually making the effort to find something positive.
This all goes along with the gratitude practice I've been cultivating the last couple months. I have made a concerted effort to keep a gratitude journal and write down one thing at the end of each day that I am grateful for. I find this practice to be the most helpful on the particularly difficult days. On the good days, it can be hard to choose just one thing to write down. But on the days that--let's face it--pretty much sucked, it forces me to go back, think through everything I did that day and find something good. Anything good. The littlest thing. Something about that time of reflection, even if the struggle to find something positive carried its own discouragement, made it easier the next time. I've started to move toward forgetting to write in my gratitude journal at night because I'm living more grateful in the moment. Noticing things as they happen and appreciating them, letting them go, and moving forward. This has always been the goal and I think that making a conscious intention to refrain from complaining will aid in my pursuit of a gratitude-filled life.
I'm saying all this because I want my thoughts, intentions and goals to be out there--outside of me--in the universe. Not just bouncing around in my head. They appear more real that way. There are reminders that can help me. There are people that can hold me accountable.
This holiday seasons feels new and different to me because of the many changes I have made in my personal life over the past seven months, and these small lifestyle changes I'm making now--these new habits I'm establishing--are really going to enrich that experience. I hope the holidays find you warm, cozy, surrounded by those you love, with gratitude in your heart. Every day.
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