day 5: table for one

I live alone so there is rarely a time when the radio isn't on in my apartment (right now it's my Chet Baker Pandora station because jazz trumpet, DUH). I think if I let it be silent while I was going about my business--cooking, doing chores, studying, etc--I would probably crack.

So naturally, when I eat meals at home, it's usually with something playing on my computer, or I'm messing with my phone, or at the very least reading a book. I'm never just eating, silently chewing my food, blankly staring off into space until I'm finished and it's time to move on to whatever is next.

Because that sounds pathetic and miserable, doesn't it?

I know I'm doing myself a disservice by mindlessly consuming my food while re-watching old seasons of Parks and Recreation on Netflix. It makes it much more difficult for my brain to distinguish between the actual meal I'm having and a random nosh fest that would be predicated by the conventional/stereotypical act of snacking for no other reason than because I'm lounging and watching TV.

This has historically been a bad habit of mine: mindless eating. Snacking for the sake of snacking. Constantly battling the "need" to be doing something while relaxing at home. And it gets worse with added stress.

Maybe it's because there is no one around to judge me for eating an entire bag of popcorn in one sitting. Or because I manage to "justify" it to myself because of how much exercise I did that day. Either way, living alone makes it more difficult for me to hold myself accountable for what I'm putting in my body and doing with my free time--which usually leads to less than optimal choices.

Enter the Whole30.

I could go back to my tree falling in the forest analogy and say that doing the Whole30 is still doing the Whole30, even if no one knows about it. But I've managed to insert myself into the Whole30 social media community just enough that now I have extrinsic motivation to follow through. Posting about my meals/good food adventures on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, this blog, etc. is not passive, and in general, I've gotten some really positive reactions (The Whole30 creators themselves even reposted one of my photos!). So even though I'd still be committed if I wasn't involved in social media, I'm less prone to renege because I know people are watching.

Some of those people are strangers, but some are people I see and interact with every day. I've spoken to and had meaningful conversations with peers since starting this journey that I would never have had otherwise. Some people are genuinely excited to hear about my progress and if I feel any different. They're playfully jealous of the yummy-looking food I have, and want to know what recipes I use.

This is an outcome I hadn't really considered much prior to beginning. I knew I'd probably have to explain myself occasionally, especially in situations where I inevitably turn down a drink or food that is offered to me. But I wasn't really expecting to have "fans" (for lack of a better term).

So even though my only companion (for now) when eating at home will be NPR, it's nice to know that my efforts don't go unnoticed. And who knows, perhaps I will recruits others and soon be hosting Whole30 dinner parties--but not at my current apartment because it is tiny and I literally own only three chairs.