day 18: bicyclists and motorists, a rant

When I can I commute by bike, but I also own a car so I'm allowed to say this to drivers: You suck.

You think you're being nice by giving me a wide berth as you pass, but really what you're doing is putting yourself--and me!--in a lot of danger. I don't care how courteous you think you're being, don't blame me when you die in a head-on collision because you crossed over the center line to get around me going over a hill or on a sharp turn. Take a breath and wait to pass safely, just like you would any other vehicle you're too impatient to drive behind on a country road.

Also, newsflash! I'm going faster than you think because when you speed up to pass me only to slam on your breaks to turn into the Dunkin' Donuts just ahead, I also have to lean on my breaks to prevent myself from ramming into your passenger side door. Again, be patient. God forbid you drive 5mph slower for a block and half before reaching your destination.

Next--hand signals. Learn them! Left arm outstretched--that's a left turn (DUH). Left arm cocked up at 90 degrees--that's a RIGHT turn (no really, it is). Left arm cocked down at 90 degrees--that's stopping. NOW YOU KNOW. No excuses. And no, the signal with a fist and one particular finger raised is NOT an appropriate way for vehicle operators to communicate their intentions.

And the things you say--or yell, rather--out of your car windows at me. Equal parts offensive, ignorant, and downright mean. What do think this is accomplishing? I hope you feel so superior now and your friends all had a good laugh. I'm sure when you get home, your daddy will finally tell you how proud he is of you.

In particular, telling me to "get on the sidewalk where I belong" is especially ineffective because last time I checked, the sideWALK was for PEDESTRIANS (It's not called a sideride, now is it?), or did you not see the pretty yellow sign with the picture of a bicycle that says "Share the Road"? Perhaps you missed the lessons on sharing and learning to read back when you were in kindergarten.

The thing is, the weather is only going to get nicer and you're going to be seeing a lot more of me and my fellow cyclists out and about. SO GET YOURSELF TOGETHER and get used to it.

And speaking of my fellow cyclists--you are not exempt from judgement!

For the love of whatever you hold dear, follow the rules of the road. There is no special code for people riding bicycles that allows them to ride through stop signs. This is not surprising news. I know you know this. Take freaking responsibility. You are the reason all of the above jerks treated me like crap today.

I can't single-handedly gain respect back for the cycling community by riding safely and responsibly. I can single-handedly flip everyone the bird as I blaze by all the cars stuck in downtown rush hour traffic.

(But I won't. Unless you deserve it.)

End rant.